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Submit your own McCarver gem
here.
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Tim McCarver has said some really dumb
things! Here are some of our favorites... |
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2006 gems submitted
by our readers... |
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"This is the first time in major league history, except
for the strike season, included, where there was no 20-game winner" -
McCarver apparently thinking that the shortened season would yield more
wins than normal. -Evan Rakowski (Game 1 2006 ALDS) |
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During Game 5 of the 2006 NLCS, on a pitch to
Jose Reyes, McCarver says, “That pitch wasn’t down and in, that pitch
was down and up.” Too bad you can't go up and down at the same time.
-Mario, NY |
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"If Oliver Perez throws in the succeeding
innings like he did in the first, you might not need the bullpen early."
- Many readers |
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"Well, David Eckstein, like most of us, has 20
digits. Ten fingers. Ten toes." - Many readers |
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"Something to keep in mind -- it's raining
lightly. The infield could be very wet on ground balls." - Many readers |
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"On most teams the set up man has become more
valuable, on others not so valuable." - Paul G. |
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“So by guessing right you might have guessed
wrong.” - NLCS Game 6, 10/18/06, Nicole B., Queens, NY |
2004 ALCS, Game 5? Red Sox vs. Yankees .
David Ortiz hit a home run into right field. Tim: "Mt.
Everest erupts again!".....too bad Mt. Everest isn't a volcano!
- Many readers
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August 19, 2006 Yankees @ Red Sox. "Pitching is
such a vital part of the game, as far as winning is concerned" - Sarah
Page |
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2005 gems submitted
by our readers... |
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"In the time it's taken to play this
game you could have flown from Baltimore to Iceland." (2005 WS Game 4,
10/26), Huh? |
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"Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive
pitcher. What is a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and
drives. Very simple." - From many readers. (2005 WS Game 4, 10/26)
Very insightful Tim! |
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A lot of readers submitted this one,
and I probably would have posted it myself had no one written in, but
instead I'll credit
Bill Simmons with this one from his 10/24 blog entry, lead item,
"The McCarver/Buck exchange right before Podsednik's walkoff homer
Sunday night, which definitely goes down in the pantheon of Eerie
Broadcaster Moments. Buck said something like "Do you think Lidge still
has the taste of that Pujols homer in his mouth?" -- quickly followed by
McCarver saying, "I don't think that taste is there." Within like
0.000000000045 seconds, Podsednik was slamming the game-winner. I don't
think everyone else combined in the history of sports broadcasting has
jinxed as many pitchers as Buck and McCarver over the last few years.
It's unreal. The 1965 version of Sandy Koufax couldn't pitch a no-hitter
against the team from "A League of Their Own" with Buck and McCarver
announcing." Has
anyone suggested this site to him or the intern yet?
Here's how... |
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1993 World Series, Phillies vs. Blue
Jays: "Watch Darren Daulton use his mitt like a glove." -Dave
Yeager |
Refering to Jose Contreras'
Forkball, nicknamed Senior Tumbolina he said, "Sounds like something
you'd order at a Cuban restaurant!" -Submitted by many readers |
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Joe Buck: "I am stunned the
Angels don't have anyone warming up in their bullpen." McCarver:
I am your co-stunner.
Cathleen
Collins - Long Island, NY |
Refering to Shawn Chacon: "He wears
his hat like a left hander!" - from many readers. |
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"There is a world of difference
between a count of one ball and two strikes is a lot different situation
than hitting with two strikes and one ball." - from too many to
count. (Read it a few times, you'll get it.) |
Earlier this year in a Yanks vs
Angels game(paraphrased):
"A-Rod at the plate, K-Rod on the mound. I guess you can call this
match-up
Rod-Rod..." from many readers. |
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From 2002 ALCS: Yankees vs. Angels following a Jason Giambi walk: "Giambi
walks too much. He's always clogging up the bases with all that
walking." - Jeremy Lechan, Natick, MA |
Cards pitcher throws a slider to Manny Ramirez...
Tim McCarver: "Hey! He just threw a stider! I've invented a new pitch! A
stider! hee hee hee" - Bubba Bowen |
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Sox vs. Orioles in the FOX game before the
All-Star Break. (Manny Ramirez at the plate) Tim: "And 'Ta-hay-da' hits a ground ball
to Brian Roberts who throws him out." -David in Western Mass. |
McCarver busted out this bit of brilliance
during the Red Sox/Orioles game on Saturday: "The reason we call that
pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder."
Ummm what? -Ryan Lambert |
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An all-time Tim McCarver
classic was during the Yankees-Mets World Series.
Benny Agbayani was up and
the game was approaching midnight. Tim starts trying to draw a parallel
between a new day beginning and the sun setting in Hawaii b/c B.A. is
from Hawaii. "As a new day begins in New York, the sun sets in
Hawaii." A confused Joe Buck, just ignores him. -Tim Driscoll,
New York, NY |
Kyle Rosko sent this in:
Here are 2 McCarver Gems from the 6/18/2005
FOX game between the Cubs and Yankees...
Gary Sheffield hits a 90 MPH high fastball (paraphrased): "Gary
Sheffield just hammered the high fastball. Not many major leaguers can
do that."
Tim and Buck are drooling over Jeter (also paraphrased): "At the risk of
sounding gaga over Jeter, he's hip too. He's hip. If I may use that
young phrase, he's one of the hippest players in the big leagues."
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During the 2005 All-Star game: "With Guererro, it's not as much a strike
ZONE as it is a strike AREA." -Timothy Razel |
6/18 - "his past week during the yankees
cardinals game McCarver said "a low strkie is a high strike" while
Randy Johnson was batting" -Stephanie DiMuro-
Rochester, NY
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It didn't take him long to get going during the All-star game. He said
this when Abreu was the very first batter: "Bobby Abreau is so good
because he has the lightest grip with his left hand in the league. He
grips the bat like a pianist."
This was extra funny because many people mis-heard him and thought
he said penis instead of pianist. -Pat Morse
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Tim: "One of the reasons the Angels have
struggled is because their offense has been bad, really bad"
Joe: "You mean that in a good way,
right?"
Tim: "Ummm, well, no."
(Angels offensive rankings stats pop up:
10th, 9th, 2nd)
-David Rice
Western Mass.
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Paraphrasing from the ALCS re: Curt
Schilling's sock:"The blood on
his sock looks exactly like Oklahoma!" -
Kat Penwell, Edgewood, MD
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During a meeting at the mound
between the pitcher and catcher, "You see Colon talking into his
glove because David Ortiz, from the Dominican Republic, can
obviously read lips in Spanish." -Andrew R., Newmarket NH
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Yes, for the all star game we have gems such as, ""He has 45 consecutive
starts for the White Sox"
And how, Tim, could you have non-consecutive starts? Huh?
--In the TOP of the first. He couldn't keep his idiocy in for twelve
seconds! God help us. -Ari
Ofsevit |
From the May 21st, 2005 Subway Series matchup at Shea Stadium
after Derek Jeter got hit by a pitch in the left elbow, “They need a
derrick to get Jeter out." -Zoe |
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My favorite one ever was when Tim McCarver
said, in the 2003 World Series, "Beckett's retired 19 batters through
Six and a third innings, he's having a phenomonal night..."
Of course, Beckett hadn't retired 19
straight, nor was "straight" ever said. The very definition of Six
and a third innings is that 19 batters have been retired... every
pitcher who has ever pitched Six and a third has retired 19 batters,
regardless of if they were throwing a perfect game or were losing
20-0. Phenomonal indeed!
- R. Bennett Moreland,
Detroit Michigan
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Right before Koo's double off Randy Johnson
(May 21, 2005) - From many readers...
Tim McC, "I'm going to go out on a limb, this is thus far in the young
season, this is the biggest give-up at bat"
Joe Buck, " Ohhhh, he rips one into right center field, take your
words back. Up against the wall" |
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"...Steve Finley who signed a 2 year deal with
the California Angels" -Jeff K. |
"Half of the Yankees' regulars this year have
not been regulars." -Joe Parziale, Melville, NY |
These are from columnist Norman Chad, whose
Couch Slouch pieces have appeared in the many major newspapers. I
enjoyed viewing your site, and knew that Chad was a McCarver-hater who
had a knack for sharing the pain in a humorous way with his readership,
so I began surfing for some gems. Here they are:
McCarver on Red Sox pitcher Derek Lowe: "Of the heavy pitches that a
pitcher throws, any ball that goes down is much heavier than any ball
that stays on the same plane. A two-seam fastball is heavier than a
four-seam fastball and that's why often they hit guys like Lowe on the
ground - you hit the top half of the ball."
McCarver on Yankees pitcher Mariano Rivera:
"He's so impressive with that excellent gait of his, the way he walks.
There's nobody that walks any easier, or comes in from the bullpen with
an easier gait than Rivera. And I think that's part of the reason for
his success because the ball just explodes out of his hand - hitters
just can't believe he can do that."
It was also Norman Chad who once said: "What's the difference between
Tim McCarver and appendicitis? Appendicitis is covered by most
health plans."
And also: "If Ken Burns ever does a
documentary on the heel of the glove, I assume Tim McCarver will
narrate." And this: "The only thing scarier than Tim McCarver in
postseason form is Kevin Costner in Waterworld." -Phil
Sarazin |
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2004 Gems... |
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McCarver said this one during
Game 1 of the ALDS (Yankees-Twins) this year. The Yanks were losing 2-0
and Torre brought in Rivera to pitch, so Buck commented that Rivera
usually doesn't come in when the Yankees
are losing. McCarver then clued us all in on what Rivera's goal was:
"In a sense, he's trying to keep it 2-0." There was a long pause,
then McCarver said "What am I talking about?" Even McCarver
notices he makes no sense! Submitted by N. Taylor, Pasadena, CA |
Joe Buck: "Tim, one of the
things I learned as a little boy watching you broadcast the World
series, is that you can't see the wind. you just see the effect of the
wind...." *slight pause* McCarver: "I don't remember saying
that, but I know I said it" - Submitted by Walter S. |
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"One thing about ground balls. They don't go
out of the ball park." - Submitted by many readers. |
During the ALCS, after a ball
was hit off the Green Monster (by Millar I believe), McCarver said "if
that ball had more elevation, it would have been a home run" - Submitted
by Taurus Moon |
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Game 6, 2004 ALCS. During a
pretty good at bat by Orlando Cabrera: "Yankee pitchers have had great
success this year against Cabrera when they get him out."
Submitted by J. Haas, Minnesota |
"National league pitchers pitch Edmonds up and
in. That is his strength and his weakness." - Submitted by
many readers. |
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From 2004 WS game 2:
"Two ground ball outs a pitchers night does not make." Submitted by -
Michael, New Orleans |
"Pedro Martinez as a pitcher is as wily as a
wolverine." - Submitted by many readers. |
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"I think Tim Wakefield would even say tonight
that Tim Wakefield got to Tim Wakefield tonight." Submitted by
Dennis Tupper, Beverly, MA |
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This was during the bottom of
the 9th inning of the 2001 World Series, just before the Diamondbacks
started their comeback against Mariano Rivera: "You know, hitters
have a tough time hitting knuckleballs, catchers have a tough time
catching knuckleballs, and hitters have a tough time hitting Mariano
Rivera."
Does Rivera throw a knuckleball? No. Did anyone on the Arizona or New
York staffs throw a knuckleball at that time? No. Were Phil Neikro,
Charlie Hough, or Tim Wakefield within 300 miles of Bank One Ballpark at
that time? I seriously doubt it.
After that comment, Joe Buck carried on with the play-by-play as if it
were never said. I'm sure he had no idea where McCarver was going with
that one.
Submitted by - Nick, Dartmouth, MA |
Joe Buck; "The last time a team came back from a 3-0 deficit it was
the 1975 New York Islanders and Ed Whestfall scored the game winner
against the Boston Bruins." Two seconds later, Tim McCarver, "and
Ed Westfall who played for the Islanders once played for the Boston
Bruins" -Submitted by Nicolas C. |
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Slighted
paraphrased: “The St. Louis lineup reminds me of Jack Lalane – there
isn’t a soft spot in it.” Said early on in the Houston/St. Louis
series. - Submitted by Pete Karahalios (San Diego, CA) |
I believe it was game
2 this year, against the Yankees, Pedro pitching. Joe buck,
something to the effect of: and after game 7 last year, we know Pedro
won’t be pitching much past 100 pitches.” McCarver: “well, when
Pedro becomes tired, the Red Sox coaches have 2 options, leave Pedro in,
or take him out and go to the bullpen.” Submiteed by Peter Q. New
England |
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It's better to have a fast runner on base than a slow one." -Submitted
by: K. Ogborne, Rochester, NY |
[Paraphrased]If a
hurricane does the damage it's riptide the sneaks up on you.
Walks are the riptide, home runs are the hurricane. -Submitted by Nancy G.
Waltham |
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"Brandon Arroyo and Pedro Martinez will start Game 2." -
Submitted by B. Stein,
New York |
(paraphrasing) "If football is
a game of inches then baseball is a game of inch" Submitted by T.
Mcaughlin, Cornell U. |
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"If the double play is a pitcher's best friend, what is a fielder's
choice? An acquaintance" - Submitted by M. Deters, New York |
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